My wife and I are probably going to start planning to have a baby after I graduate this year. I want to make sure if it is a boy, he will be blessed with a huge penis from birth. Is their anything I can do that is medically proven to increase these chances?

Mr. NotSoLongStuff

Dear Mr. NotSoLongStuff,

In a teeny-weeny word, no. There just ain't any pills, potions, or positions that will prompt baby's pee-pee to be pumped up when he pops out. Your signature suggests that you assume "like father, like son" is automatically true for genitalia, too. Not so, NotSoLong: you'll see in the archived Go Ask Alice! Q&A, Whom should I thank for my penis?, that penis size is most likely influenced genetically by both mommy and daddy. So, if your wife has a big penis, your wish may be granted... just kidding. It does mean that a future son's "family jewels" may or may not resemble those of the male family member from whom they came. And, by the way, a young boy's penis — naturally smaller than it will be when older — may grow to Jolly Green Giant size when he's a post-pubescent adult — a development that you may never know about.

But, for argument's sake, let's say that a son-to-come does wind up with a penis that you would consider small. He may not feel inadequate. He may not shower only when the coast is clear. He may never be teased by other kids. He may never get rejected by a woman, or a man, who might be a little too single-minded. He may become a monk. You, on the other hand, may have experienced some of those things, and may presently feel not-so-good about not being so long — however, you are making that determination. It's certainly understandable that you don't want your possible son to feel sad, embarrassed, or even hopeless — as you may have felt. If that was the case, did it prevent you from meeting others, from developing intimate and sexually active relationships, from achieving academic success, or from marrying? Your question already gave us these answers.

If a future son's emotional health is your concern, it's touching and suggests that your upcoming parenting skills are pointed in the right direction. Since there are sooooo many hypotheticals here, not the least of which is the unknown gender of your yet-to-be born child, it would be too bad if the exciting anticipation of your future family, and the potentially hugely joyous act of having and raising a child, were muffled by worries about penis size, and by passing down those worries to a son whose privates, large or small, may not be on the top of his list of concerns. If he ever were to come to you with size stress, he will probably need you to model how much bigger life is than what's between his legs — a fact that certainly hasn't stopped you. If you think that your self-/sexual esteem will be tightly wrapped around your baby's short, or long, or thick, or thin "thing," you might want to read these other related Q&As and their reader responses for a variety of penis size perspectives.

Congratulations in advance,

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